Mom guilt is a very real thing no matter how great of a mom you really are!
Being a mom is the biggest, most important job in the world, so it’s no wonder we moms put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect.
Here’s a little back story on my role as a mom.
I became a mom much later in life than most of my friends.
Being almost 39 years old when I had my son, it was, hands down, the very best day of my life!
I had wanted a child so badly and I finally had one.
Clearly, my son is my world and I love him more than words can describe.
However, as hard as I try not to feel this way, there are times when I feel ‘less than’ as a mom to him.
Feeling ‘Less Than’ As A Mom
A mom’s job is an immensely rewarding one that I wouldn’t trade for the world.
It’s a job that involves the most important responsibility of all: molding another human being into a well-rounded, good, healthy, successful, productive person.
No pressure at all right?
What I’m Proud of As A Mom
Don’t get me wrong, most of the time I feel like I’m the mom equivalent of a rockstar.
I really take pride in my job as ‘Mom’ by:
- Taking good care of him when he’s sick.
- Making sure he eats healthy foods – and believe me, that ain’t easy with a picky eater!
- Providing him with as many opportunities for exercise as possible.
- Consistently guiding him in the important areas of life such as school, socialization, morals, and empathy for others.
- Making sure that he knows I’m always here to support and love him no matter what.
- Doing my best to arm him with the tools to work through a problem independently in order for him to get to a solution by himself.
- Keeping him out of danger as much as possible.
- Making sure he gets enough sleep.
I’m always aware of the fact that I am his main role model in all areas of life. He’s watching me and copying what I do. So I better do it right.
I could go on and on with the list of things I do as a mom.
Bottom line: Being a mom is a HUGE job and I love every minute of it.
Mom Guilt Gets The Best of Me
BUT there are times where that mom guilt really gets the best of me.
Because I’ve been overweight all of my son’s life, this plays a huge role in my mom guilt.
I know that my health is compromised being overweight.
And because my health is compromised, I might not be around for my son as long as I’d like to be.
That’s something I think about all the time, especially after my son has gone to bed and fallen asleep.
It’s at this time of night when it really hits me and the mom guilt is heightened.
I always go into his room to check on him after he’s gone to sleep and kiss him on his cheek.
And then I walk out feeling guilty because:
- I just ate that big bowl of ice cream.
- When he got home from school, I didn’t get outside and throw the baseball with him.
- I don’t have the energy to keep up with him.
- It breaks my heart every year when we go to Hershey Park and he says ‘Mommy, go on this ride with me!’ and I have to tell him no because I’m afraid I won’t fit in the seat.
It scares me that when he gets a little bit older, he’ll be embarrassed of me because I’m bigger than all of the other moms.
All of these things make me feel intense mom guilt.
Take Back Control & Stop Feeling Guilty
But I do have control over most of these things.
When I joined the gym a month and a half ago I was SO scared!
I thought to myself, is this going to be another gym that I join, only to hugely disappoint myself yet again because I didn’t stick with it?
I’m finding out that, no, this is nothing like any of those other gyms.
For me personally, I KNOW that CrossFit is an exercise regimen that I will stay motivated to continue.
It’s so different from any other gym I’ve belonged to in the past.
I feel a sense of togetherness with the other members in each class I take.
Also, I feel accountability more than ever before.
And, I don’t feel like I’m alone in it.
In addition, I’m having fun!
The hour-long class flies by every time.
My Concrete Work-Out Goals
Our trainer asked Terri and me to write down CONCRETE goals stating WHAT we wanted to achieve from working out.
On that list for me is to:
- Fit in a roller coaster seat.
- Have enough energy and stamina to get outside and practice baseball with my son.
- Confidently volunteer in my son’s classroom, knowing inside that he’s proud to point me out to his friends and say ‘that’s MY mom’!
- Kiss my son on his cheek while he’s sleeping every night and walk out of his room feeling truly happy and guilt-free.
Sure, there are so many other goals I have besides being the best mom I can be.
I’ve written those down too.
But for now, I’m concentrating on my ‘trying to be a better mom’ goals.
I truly believe that I am on the right path to fulfill these goals.
Increasing my muscle mass, decreasing my fat, increasing my metabolism, losing inches, increasing my stamina and energy levels are all things that will help me lose weight.
The added bonus? I already feel so much better about myself which makes me as ‘mom’ an easier person to be around.
And don’t all of my loved ones ultimately benefit from that?
Just knowing that I’m doing something to get myself healthier so that I can be around as ‘mom’ to my son for as long as possible, makes me so happy, knowing that I’m ABSOLUTELY doing the best I can!
Do you have mom guilt?
If so, what goals can you make to take more control of those negative feelings?
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2 thoughts on “Mom Guilt & Why I Sometimes Feel ‘Less Than’ As A Mom”
This was one of your best blogs yet. You really laid it out on the table! It must have taken a lot of guts to reveal so much!! I loved all the pictures and remember being in your hospital room when Dominic was born; we were all crying! Cut yourself some slack, you are a GREAT mom!!
It did Cheryl. It was really difficult for me to share this one. It feels so raw, but good at the same time that I can acknowledge it. Thank you!!